I take my quarantine day by day. This morning, I wake up Sad and Scared. I sit in a patch of sun on my bed and write, one sentence at a time. I close my eyes and turn my face to the light. It is too bright to face it otherwise. I soak up the sun. I am becoming more catlike every day.
I listen to a news podcast. I am trying to stay awake to this painful reality. The day stretches out before me and I think of ways to combat my Sad today. Here is Today. What do I want to do with it?
Today I’ll turn my face to the sun. Today I’ll eat a slice of lemon-poppy seed cake. Today I’ll feel the warmth of my cat’s small body as he curls up against me. Today I’ll paint my toenails a bright turquoise. Today I’ll sit outside on the fire escape and feel fresh air fill my lungs. Today I’ll finish a puzzle. Today I’ll keep myself safe. Today I’ll be here, and that will have to be enough.